Tips For Using Online Dating Sites
News from The Onion (satire):

According to a national survey, 1 in 3 American couples married in the last decade met on the internet. Here are The Onion’s tips for finding love online:

  • It’s important to choose an interesting profile picture that reflects the “real you” persona that you’ve cooked up, like a photo of you hiking or at a volunteer event.
  • To stand out in a sea of suitors, include something in your profile completely unique to you, like your social security number and checking account information.
  • Put a Bible verse in your profile to show other men that you have a stifled, Puritanical sense of raw sexuality just waiting to be let out.
  • First impressions count. Before posting the photo of yourself pepper-spraying Occupy movement protesters, seriously consider if that is the image you want to project to the world.
  • Be willing to open yourself up to new experiences, like going on a series of terrible dates with men you despise.
  • Crafting the perfect online dating profile often requires a fresh pair of eyes. After you’re done making your profile, enlist some friends to look it over and lie about what they think.
  • Personal details give potential dates a more accurate picture of who you are. Be specific in your profile by mentioning the exact episode and scene that made you give up on Lost.
  • Listing…………… continues on The Onion (satire)

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Hump Day: how to craft the perfect online dating profile
News from UW Badger Herald:

Unbeknownst to you all, I’ve been taking time this semester to do some in-depth sociological research in the field of human sexuality. That’s right, I’m talking about online dating. Ready to take the plunge? I’ve collected some, shall we say, “colorful” experiences and insights over the last several weeks and I’m confident in saying I’ve got the know-how for maintaining an eye-catching online presence.

I picked the popular OkCupid dating site for my experimentation because it tends to be preferred among 20-something-year-olds. You can find everything on “okc,” from a quick lay to potential new friends to a third party for your current relationship to potential dating partners to kinky play buddies. That being said, many of these lessons can be translated to the various dating sites out there. In the end, it’s about making your profile stand out from the sea of faces in an effort to nab that first date.

The Profile Picture

Nobody owes you anything in the world of cut-throat online dating if you’re not willing to show yourself off. Some people leave their profiles empty in an attempt to maintain total privacy until you trade digits. My advice? DO NOT FUCK WITH THESE PEOPLE. And do not be one o…………… continues on UW Badger Herald

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